2007-05-16

I'm FRUSTRATED, UPSET, SAD ,and HURT

"The right person will come to the person in the least unexpected way"
My textmate

CURRENTLY DOING: Downloading songs from Timbaland's latest album "Shock Value", chatting, Internet surfing, forum posting
CHATTING WITH: Gellah
LISTENING TO: Give It To Me by Timbaland featuring Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake and Break It Off by Rihanna featuring Sean Paul

At the beginning of the day, I was upbeat. I was excited. I was happy. I was really just happy when I woke up. Afternoon came, I'm still cheerful. Heck, I was really just having fun.

Then, evening came and someone texted me and we then talked about love. Then, it suddenly went downhill. Heck, for reasons unknown, my past troubled me AGAIN for the nth time. My textmate sensed it and the textmate said if I'm really serious about love, I should do everything to show how I feel. But, I've lost my self-confidence during those tumultuous times in the past. This summer, I've said to myself, that during the school year, my commitment will be more serious than before.

Back to the textmate thing. The said textmate said if the need for moving on arises, I have to do it. I asked how. The person replied that I must be busy. But being busy for me is not the solution. Heck, I'm just really frustrated and upset in a sense that I don't have a sense of direction in terms of love.

Sad because my past is still troubling me up to this moment. I've been asking myself this question: "To find someone else or to move on". I've tried both options and I've failed. My sense of commitment and detemination in doing both options was HIGH but still I failed. How come it happened like that? I just really need answers.

Hurt because those painful moments have been taking their toll on me. I try to shield them by putting a "mask" on my soul but it still won't work. Do I have to "face the music" to solve the problem? I just really don't know.

This is it for now. Bye mates! Savvy?




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