"Love transforms our lives and connects it with others"
an excerpt from a story from Reader's Digest

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them"
Mother Teresa

Now the usual stuff...
CURRENTLY DOING: Chatting, listening to music, Internet surfing, forum posting
NOW LISTENING TO: Because of You by Ne-Yo

Now the entry...

Yesterday's entry was for me, a necessary thing to be done. There is still pain inside me. There is still the feeling of being upset. There is still the uneasiness inside me. There is still the discontentment. Disappointment still lurks inside my system. I'm hurt. I'm unwell obviously.

As you can see, I liked a girl who was very nice and beautiful. Heck, at first, I didn't mind all those rejections that I've received. I was really just taking it seriously but still it looks like that I was unfazed at all. I've doubted my feelings in the first place but I took a huge risk- a risk that made my life uneasy. I regret doing those asking that one DREADFUL question to the person. Heck, I shouldn't have done it in the first place. My sheer stupidity got the best of me. Yes, sheer stupidity- the trait that caused all my misfortunes in the first place. I thought it was love but persons that I've "consulted" to tell the opposite. So it looks like a wrong move in the end.

These certain misfortunes are now making my life tough. Heck, if I will find someone else, then I just used the person as a "covering" for the pains. That's wrong. If moving on is the solution, how would I do it? Being busy? I don't think so. Why? When I do times, thoughts of her suddenly invade my brain. Avoiding contact or communication? I can't do that. I'm not even mad at the person then I would do that?!? That just doesn't make sense. Maybe what a friend of mine said which is "Just act normally and time will heal those pains and wounds." You know what, I've read lots of books that told the same thing.

This is already a tough time for me considering the fact that I'm not yet really in good terms with my Mom but the effort is there. Also, a friend told me that the person isn't ready to have a relationship then why did I still do that? I'm pretty miserable now.

When I'm alone, what comes into my mind is thoughts of obviously... her. If the person gets mad, I'm sorry. This is it for me. I want to expire from this world. Seriously, I can't handle lots of problems at the same time.

This is it for now. Bye. Savvy?

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