I JUST CAN'T DO IT. . . WHY?

"Pain without love. Pain . . . I can't get enough. Pain . . . I like it rough 'cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all."
- Pain by Three Day's Grace -

Well, I tried escaping the fact that I should not avoid her but still. . . I avoided her. There is this urge inside me that is telling me that I must talk to her and settle things but I can't because I'm boisterous and I'm still having difficulty in approaching the said person.

When we had our Guidance session, I was deeply affected by the bold terms "Conflict Management". It's like those are words that give me a sign that I must do something. That step saying that "Approach the problem" made an impact on me. Another was "Talk to the person personally not through other means".

I'm wondering if the said presentation by the Guidance was meant to affect my life. I think it really served a purpose. It left a remarkable and astounding message on me. I'm more determined to patch my miserable life now. I'm willing to take and receive more pain just to forget that past which has debilitated me terribly.

At times, I think that I want to expire already. I think that I don't serve any important purpose at this world at all at times. So much for being a pessimist, I would really like to see that sign wherein I would be happy after I see that sign.

I just can't forget a person. I've been asking myself "WHY?!?" lots of times already. It's like these thoughts play with my mind before I sleep. It's like I've been a person molded into a person who's very stupid. Very immature. Maybe I really need to find another girl. Heck, I'm really puzzled. Damn!

I'm getting into a point wherein I think of myself as a failure in life just because of the inescapable reality that I've been fooled by my own feelings or let's just presume that inescapable reality has something to do with rejection or being rejected.

Pain is unbearable and I must unload it or else . . . I might turn into a person that you'll never appreciate. Pain makes me sick. Pain makes me vulnerable. But I would rather feel pain if that's the only way that I could solve my lingering problems.

Hopefully, I would be happy again soon.
Savvy?
Sorry to everyone especially to the person/s that I've avoided.

This is Bob Marley's "Don't Worry Be Happy." This song really is nice especially the whistling part.