I ENDED UP AS A SORE LOSER . . . THIS IS JUST BS! WHY AM I ON THE WRONG SIDE ALWAYS? I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO THE ADVICES OF MY RELIABLE CLASSMATES

I'm obviously hurt now. I don't know why I end up as a damn sore loser all the time. I regret now that I didn't listen to Ate Kat in the past. She said "Jio, why are you holding on where in fact, there's nothing to hold at in the first place?" I thought I should have made a move but the situation is on the other guy's favor not mine. I'm so STUPID to hang on to something UNATTAINABLE.

I regret that I loved the person in the first place. I really ended up being a huge failure. When I'm alone, I get dejected. When I'm alone, thoughts of her circle in my mind. When I'm alone, I ended up crying miserably because all I can remember is that I got busted, I got rejected, she chose another guy and so on and so forth.

I'm now desperate to forget her. VERY DESPERATE is the exact word. Again, Ate Kat was right on this one. She said "Jio, *name withheld for privacy* is not the right girl for you. If you get rejected for how many times already, stop Jio stop! You're hurting yourself in the process!" This sentiment would never get away from my mind until I find another girl to cover, to patch, to fix my already damaged life.

Patrick really is just what you call a loyal friend. He just told me to hang in there. . . to be strong . . . and of course, we said the phrase "Happy People!" This day really went on another spiral and downward turn when Patrick told me that the other guy would courth the girl. I said "I don't care!" to conceal what I feel. Of course, I got hurt. Now, I seriously thought that this is an implication that I must AVOID the girl. Another is that I must now exert all my effort to FORGET her. The question is . . . can I do it? If the past would be used as a key, I was NOT successful. Now, I'm just really trying to solve my porblems bit by bit and if I succeed in forgetting her, it would really help me a lot.

Of course, accepting the harsh reality that she won't like me has been a bitter pill to swallow. Through the revolving winds of time, I have succeeded in swallowing that harsh reality.

Maybe it's my fault after all. If it WAS my fault, then why am I suffering too much already? Do I really deserve to suffer too much? The pain is already unbearable. . . very unbearable. I wish to become numb to ease the excruciating pain but I have to be strong. Subsequently, I can't be because I think that this sad time in my life is there to wake me up from the harsh realities of life. One thing's for sure though, I would really try to FORGET and MOVE ON.

In the end, I just really wished that I never loved her. I really ended up as a huge failure. My confidence is in its record low so to speak. Well, I just have to get over this problem and hopefully, I would be very happy in the end.

Savvy?
P.S If ever you get to read this, I would really appreciate it.