"Indecision and delays are the parents of failure."
-George Canning-
-George Canning-
Well, today has been marred by memories of the past. These memories have made me happy for some very weird reasons. I just miss the good ol' days with her - the times wherein I was happy when I think of her, the times wherein I bombard her with lots of text messages, the times wherein I chat with her through YM, the times wherein she said be optimistic and just forget the bad times, the times wherein she was my seatmate, the times wherein she simply was inside my thoughts, and to make the long story short, I just miss some things in my life.
At present, I am confused again. How many times have I said the word "confused" in this blog? Oh well, life is tough on me at times. I don't know why I end up on the losing side of things. My decisions turn out to be blunders. Well, part of the blame goes to my delays and indecisions in terms of acting to a situation.
I don't know if I'm liking her again. If ever that happens, I will quickly do something to stop whatever emotion that comes since someone is courting her now. It would be unethical on my part to like her again because of that. Geez, I will not avoid her. That's the bottomline.
If ever she has problems, I am still here. I am ready to catch her and help her bounce back. But I really doubt that she needs any of my help since she has tons of friends.
"If you want to do something, do it right away." This is a line that I will always remember. I forgot who stated it but it has been etched in my heart for quite some time now. I failed in things since I don't do what I want right away; hence, the logic of the line aforementioned.
I'm sorry to you. You know who you are. I have made mistakes here and I still have remorse for my actions.
Right now, I'm optimistic about my future life. I am currently happy because of things occurring and revolving around me. I will just forget the pain from the past and just treat things normally. This actually is her advice to me some time ago.
Previously, I thought of avoiding her since I thought that if I still have communication with her(may it be text or online messages), then I thought that I won't move on and make progress at all. But thanks to Jonel, I gained this paradigm to just treat things normally and take things in strides. That's what you call a sudden paradigm shift.
The bottomline here is there is no more mess for me to clean up. All is well. I just have to adapt to the current situation in my life. Maybe it's not yet my time to love someone . . . not just yet.
Savvy?
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