PROLOGUE OF SORTS: This entry was composed last September 12 but due to time constraints, I was not able to finish it on time and subsequently, post it. Sorry for the inconvenience.

"That may be all I need. In darkness she is all I see. Come and rest your bones with me. Driving slow on Sunday morning and I never want to leave."
-Maroon 5's "Sunday Morning"-

I'm certainly not happy today. I can't believe that I haven't moved on yet. Dammit. I'm so effing stupid. I'm just really suffering the aftermath of my idiocracy in life. Oh well, life must go on and I can say that I deserve to be branded as a very stupid human being who just didn't fare well in making decisions in life. I thought that I can stop thinking about her. I thought that I can really do things without even thinking about her. How stupid of me think about that. Goodness gracious! I should just stop thinking about the past and simply occupy myself with lots of activities. Hopefully, all will be well.

So many thoughts . . . so many mistakes come afterwards. It has been like this for me since August 30, 2006 - that day that has set the tone for all the BS and crap that has happened. You might think that I'm crazy for this. If that's the case, then I might say that this certain "craziness" has caused my downfalls in life.

I've stated before that I was kinda "demoralized" by the past and I kinda "regret" it. That's normal. I was just immature for such a momentous chapter in my life and I just paid the consequences.

It's good actually that I am able to cope up with lots of stresses, both physical and emotional, this year. Well, I attribute that to just being able to hang in there when it is really needed. Oh well, this is getting nonsense.

It's my fault and that's simply the undeniable reality that I saw. If I didn't do this, if I didn't do that . . . you get the picture. Things wouldn't have had happened if not for my immaturity at decision-making. Oh well, there's a saying that goes by "Think about the positive side of things."

Last year, she was the cause of all the happiness. This year, I can't comment on it. I have a reputation to protect and some other things prevent me from doing it anyway.

Happy Birthday to Yao Ming and Celine! May you have better moments in your life and wish you all the happiness.


No comments:


Design by: Blogger XML Skins | Distributed by: Blogger Templates