"Do you feel like you're a man when you push her around? Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground? Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found."
- "Face Down" by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus -
- "Face Down" by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus -
My previous entry has been the most difficult to write and now that I've posted it, it deteriorated the situation even more. I should not have posted it in the first place. It made the situation blown out of epic proportions. It is just making me more pathetic with every second that passes by. I just know that what I did was a bad thing. Right? It's simply me vs everyone. I'm always the heel here anyway right?
What I'm trying to point out is that I simply have to release all the emotion inside me. The aforementioned emotions, if kept inside me for a longer time, will cause me to implode and be enraged for a long time. That is one of the reasons on why I simply posted that entry. If you are to look at the case closely, I am the bad guy because I made harsh remarks on her, an innocent person who must not have been criticized.
It's my fault. Look, you might think that my point here is about the courtship. You are wrong then. It's a matter of telling what's inside me and what really is the truth regarding me. I'm sorry but then I must also accept that a sorry can't erase the fact that I've done a harsh act. If I want to be at peace again with her, then I must do something. Sadly though, I can't do that because she's mad at me. It's my stupidity that has been causing all the hot fuss recently.
Because of all the recent happenings, I'm thinking of myself as a retard. I'm thinking very pessimistically. I simply can't undo that miserable thing that I did. I wish I could retract all those statements but I can't. I still can't forget how well she treated me. She treated me well, yes very well wherein this caused me to like her in the first place. What she did to me in the past was not shitty. In fact, I deserved it. But because of my feeble mind, I am acting like an asshole.
I'm here saying my public and online apology but then I think that this won't do enough. I'm sorry.
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