IT's THE ATTACK OF DEPRESSION AND NEGATIVITY

"Emotive unstable. You're like an unwinding cable car"
-"The Unwinding Cable Car" by Anberlin-

Classes were suspended today but I feel like nothing at all. Depression struck me again. How many time have I said the word "depression" right in this domain of mine? Too many times eh? I do not know. I have been listening to the Vitamin String Quartet. This group is simply awesome. They have turned Incubus' "Drive" into one freaking good orchestra version.

I have been thinking negatively a lot this week alone. For what reason you may ask? I do not know as well. I have been like this since my sophomore years in high school. I do not really how this thing affected me. Things just definitely snowballed on me.

Depression is the last thing I need now and then it still comes. Do I really just attract the aura of depression? In all seriousness, I want this negativity to stop. Maybe I should not really have been thinking of what about will happen to me in terms of my social life. Maybe I just have to end this thing myself by quitting and saying " I really do not stand out a chance at all." I do not know. If only I know the future, I would have done something right here and right now. What the heck am I just saying here? Oh well, that is what you call "talking to one's self when bored big time and thus, it results to random thoughts."

Whew. That is all I can say. After several bouts with depression, I am again encountering another one. I am tired of it to be honest. If only I know that my decisions in the past would be futile, this would not have had happened. I am not blaming anyone or some things here but rather, I am blaming myself. Oh well, hopefully I can bounce back from the sting of depression.

Being depressed causes me to be negative which then causes me to lose lots of confidence in dealing with other people. I am not really feeling well these past days. Thank you depression thank you.

Oh well, it's the end of this entry.

"I'll guard your heart . . . "